The Prestigious Family’s Young Miss and The Farmer – Chapter 19 Part 1

CHAPTER 19: PART 1 Sending betrothal gifts

Seeing He-shi’s that sort of attitude on that day, Yang Tiezhu also didn’t hand over his marriage arrangements to his family, rather along with Yang-shi, he discussed it with Lin Qingwan.

In ancient times to get married, there was a tradition of ‘Three matchmakers and six betrothal gifts‘ , which was also called as, ‘Three letters and six etiquettes’. The three letters includes ‘betrothal letter’, ‘gift letter’, and ‘wedding letter’. Among the three matchmakers, one is from the bridegroom side, one is from the bride side, and one is an intermediate matchmaker who mediates between them. ‘Six betrothal gifts’ and ‘six etiquettes’ are the same, which refers to Proposal, Exchanging birth characters of both groom and bride, Visiting fortune teller, Gift giving, Choosing the wedding date, and Wedding ceremony.

Nevertheless, country-folk doesn’t have to go through all these bothersome rituals.

The bridegroom’s family invites a matchmaker to visit the bride’s family; if the bride’s side doesn’t have any objection, then the matchmaker would bring a few gifts to the bride’s house to exchange the both, male and female sides Gengtie^[1] on another day. And if the birthdate characters of both the male and female don’t clash, the matchmaker would then bring a big gift, i.e., betrothal gift, and exchange the marriage contract. Followed by which both the families pick an auspicious day. On the wedding day, the bridegroom personally comes to escort the bride to the wedding ceremony.   

The three of them sat together and discussed Yang Tiezhu and Lin Qingyuan’s marriage procedure, making everything simple, without any complications. Yang Tiezhu asked the matchmaker only to bring the betrothal gifts and exchange the marriage contract and then set a day for the wedding ceremony. 

The betrothal gifts was as per the old traditions of the Luoxia village: a pair of live chickens and ducks, two jars of baijiu, two jin^[2] of white sugar, two packets of tea and fruits of all kinds, a pair of a silver hairpin, four pieces of fabrics of different colors, and the betrothal money of 8.8 taels, signifying great fortune.

All the eatables in the first-half were according to the Luoxia village’s old customs, while the silver hairpin and fabrics in the second-half were added by Yang Tiezhu himself. The betrothal money was also a lot. In Luoxia village, most of the villagers would give 2-3 taels as betrothal money when taking a wife. Only the one with good financial circumstances would provide a lot, but even then, the amount would only be 6.6 taels at most.

As for the marriage contract, as Lin Qingyuan didn’t have a household register, Yang-shi stuffed some silver in the village head’s hands and had him put Lin Qingyuan’s household register under Yang-shi’s, saying that she was a niece from her husband’s side.

However, everyone in Luoxia village was aware of how Lin Qingwan had come, and this sort of statement was merely to record in the official records. 

Thus Lin Qingwan’s marriage contract was written by herself and signed by Yang-shi. As for Yang Tiezhu’s marriage contract, he privately found someone to have it written and then went home to have it signed by old father Yang. Actually, this was also written by Lin Qingwan, as it was unlikely for old father Yang to write characters, and could only put hand seal. 

It was only when old father Yang saw Yang Tiezhu return with the marriage contract, asking him for his sign, he realized that his son had already started the preparations for his marriage, and felt even more upset in his heart. 

As he sat on the kang, silently smoking tobacco, he didn’t know what he should say to Yang Tiezhu. 

He-shi quietly sat on the corner of the bed, with her back facing them. Ever since Yang Tiezhu came in, she didn’t bother with him. Even when Yang Tiezhu took out the marriage contract to get it signed by old father Yang, she didn’t utter a word. 

Old father Yang looked at Yang Tiezhu standing beside him, and then glanced at his wife, who was sitting with her back to them. He knew that his wife was angry, but he was worried as He-shi hadn’t flared up yet from all the words he had said a few days back. 

“Are all the preparations done?” Puffing on his tobacco, he asked in a hoarse voice. 

“Almost everything is done, just waiting for the matchmaker to send betrothal gifts tomorrow.” Yang Tiezhu’s appeared exhausted, yet his happiness couldn’t be hidden. Over the past few days, he was indeed quite busy. Not only did he have to find a matchmaker, but he also had to buy the betrothal gifts, all by himself. Because he had never done these in the past, he wasn’t aware of what to buy; as a result, he had to go to Yang-shi a few times to get a clear idea about it

After buying all the betrothal gifts, he directly carried all these to the matchmaker’s place, without going home. He was aware of his mother’s innate character. If his mother saw these, she would make a big fuss again. Thus, as to not spoil his exultation, he might as well not tell his family about the betrothal gifts. 

 “Then, how are the preparations for the wedding banquet going on?”

Old father Yang looked at his second son. With a tall stature and sturdy figure, he was already a fully grown man. He didn’t know when it had started, but it had been quite a long time since old father Yang had carefully looked at his son. 

This child had suffered a lot when he was born. In the first half month, there wasn’t any breast milk for him to drink and survived only by drinking rice congee every day. Later he was unable to put up with it any longer. Thus, despite He-shi’s refusal, he stubbornly gave the baby to his elder sister and let her feed the baby. 

It was only when he was more than a year old that the child was brought back. At that time, He-shi had a third child, and didn’t have the mood to take care of him. Furthermore, He-shi had a prejudice against his sister for a long time in her heart. Because of that, this child also suffered a lot at home. A one-year-old kid could hardly walk, thus in the house, he would frequently fall down and end up badly battered, yet there was no one to take care of him.

At that time, they had just split up^[3], and there were many children at home. The eldest son was six years old, while the eldest daughter was only four years old, and the third son was in swaddling clothes. He and He-shi were badly burned about the head^[4], and furthermore, didn’t have thought of taking care of their 1-year-old second child.  

The little boy was only a little old enough to recognize people apart and frequently ran out to look for his elder sister. He knew that she didn’t live here, but he couldn’t find her anywhere. He and He-shi would get often tired of searching for him everywhere, every day.   

Finally, He-shi was exhausted and asked him to take the second child to his older sister once again to raise him for a few more years. They brought him back only when he was a little bit older and sensible.  

By the time he came back, the child was already sensible and wasn’t very close to them. He would seldom speak at home and would run to his elder sister’s place to play. Initially, He-shi didn’t like him, and now with this, she disliked him even more. She even ran to his elder sister’s place to quarrel quite a few times… 

In this manner, estrangement was born. One can’t justify who was right or who was wrong but can only say that it was his wife’s mistake for being too petty for involving children in the adult’s conflicts… 

“The wedding banquet can only be arranged at home. At that time of the banquet, one would have to bother father and mother.” 

Yang Tiezhu’s voice pulled Old father Yang from his distant train of thoughts. Old father Yang coughed once and was about to respond.

Just then, He-shi’s voice rang out.”There isn’t any money in the house for you to arrange the wedding banquet. Pay it yourself, you can, can’t you?!”

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Foot note:

1. Gēng tiě (庚贴) : A card with the eight-characters of bride and groom exchanged at the time of proposal to check for the comparability of the couple.

2. Jin (斤) : It is a traditional Chinese unit of mass used across East and Southeast Asia, notably for weighing food and other groceries in some wet markets, street markets, and shops. Equivalent to 500gms.

3. Fēn­jiā (分家) : Breaking up the family and living separately. In this context, Old father Yang and He-shi had seperated from their parent’s family.

4. Over-exhausted.